I need some unbiased feedback about this one

[TheProfessor]

well i have been with this girl for over 4 years
we were engaged and living together the whole time
i just got her a ring and the day she picked it up from being sized she didnt come home from work in the morning after working third shift
she comes home later with her brother in law and moves out
im confused
im not sure what is going on
what do you guys think

[TheProfessor]

:wtf1:

[GPXSS]

Get the ring back and kick her to the curb. I know you've been w/ her for 4 years, but if she will just up and leave without giving a valid reason, then you will never have an honest relationship. Did she not say anything?

[bmlawson]

yeah kick her shit out the door and get on with life. it'll be hard but in the long run you'll realize you were better without here.

[TheProfessor]

actually theres a couple of things i should have said in addition to my origional post
"the ring" cost like 30 or 40 dollars
and she is supposed to call me tomorrow at noon and i have no idea what im gonna say
and on top of that i dont really know anyone around here
no friends just two cusins and im really just starting to hang out with them
im all about focusing on MY life thats the mistake i did last time was not planning for a future without the last girl

[Guest]

Hmm, there are probably a bunch of other facets to this situation.

I can relate though, I toild my last girl that I wanted to marry her, and she lost complete interest, where as before that, all she bugged me about was "the ring" "the ring" "the ring".

I think the problem is that most women are not in love with thier guys, they are in love with the idea of being married. It seems to be more important to have that ring and piece of paper, than it is to be in a loving comitted relationship, at least when it comes to 99% of women I've been with.

I can't give you any real good advice, at least it may not seem like it, but if she will just up and leave, then she was not dedicated to you in the first place, so move on, and find a woman, not a girl.

Also the price of the ring should not matter, if it does, kick her to tha curb, because, as a guy from another board would say, "that bitch is a whore". It took me a while to understand the deeper meaning of that so simple statement, but it is so true.

Let us know what happens with "the call", but a little advice, don't get all in her face and try and pry an answer from her, I KNOW you are asking yourself right now "What did I do wrong?", "Why?" and thinking "I can change", "I can do what you want", big mistake, if she's going to tell you, she will, trying to pry the answer will only delay the answer, maiing yourself change, is teh worst thing you could do for her and especially you. Sure you might be happy now, but in 10 or 15 years of living the way she wants you to, you won't be able to look yourself in the mirror, believe me, that part sucks.

I sincerly hope I'm wrong about her, but when you've been through the type of stuff I have, you get to see patterns, in all women, just the circumstances change.

[RednBlack]

I haven't posted for awhile, since no one bothered to tell me I had to pay the phone bill to stay on-line...This did catch my attention once I got back. First, I know times are tough, but please spend more than 40 bucks on a ring! Second, give her a chance to talk. Maybe a valid reason, maybe not. But you need to know for your own sanity. Third, if the problem is with her, better to find out now than 10 years down the road. I have been there, and is isn't pretty. The only thing out of that relationship worth a damn, are my 2 children. I am not Dr. Phil, but he wasn't married to my ex either!

[TheProfessor]

yeah i just got off the phone with her a little while ago
its wierd cause i pretty much had it figured out i think
were still talking, still friends
it was the situation we were in we were under alot of stess financially and stuff and it was getting to us
now were both going to be living with a family memeber so the financial stress is gone were still gonna hang out
i think this happend the best way it could have
well i guess im just gonna be myself and her friend and see where this goes

[Manitcor]

if you do get back with this girl try to work on both hers and your communcation. Nothing like that is ever sudden. This has been stewing in her head for a long time I can gaurentee you that.

[TheProfessor]

well honestly ive been thinking alot about it too and thats kinda how i knew what was going on

[TheProfessor]

well i went to the store where she works tonight to get some stuff
talked to her for a bit
shes been stopping by to feed our cats cause ive been out of town
wow you should have seen her face light up with a smile when she saw me were planning on getting together on her next day off

[Lyle's GTP]

Not defending her or anything, but maybe she just freaked. We have all done it, it's like a mini nervous breakdown/mid-life crisis. When you have to make a huge desision and you can't. From the sounds of it she is probably very embarrassed, and has too much pride to admit to fucking up. Everyone deserves a second chance, but if she bolts again, let her go for good. "Third times a charm", isn't a good outlook.

Oh, and try to do better than 40 bucks. It is just a symbol, but what is she going to say if someone asks how much it was. It's a sad, sick world when it comes down to money like that, but that is life.

Good Luck.

Lyle

[TheProfessor]

LMAO nice
yeah well she picked out the ring
but i would get her a better one if we do end up getting married still in the future
but i am with you on the thought that she might have just gotten freaked

[TheProfessor]

well she came over today but i was in the middle of something
we talked a bit though
gonna spend some time together tomorow