It sucks getting older...

[bszopi]

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

[SappySE107]

Yeah, who needs a sperm count for an 85 year old man? Other than Chuck Norris? He is just getting broken in by that age.

[pocket-rocket]

Lol, I'm going to have to print this one off for work. We still have the little girl working with the construction crew joke up

I just got a new app for my phone today called Funny Jokes. There's a section called "Chuck Norris Facts" on it.

"Someone once asked me if I wanted to hear a Chuck Norris joke and I just stood there and laughed. They asked why I was laughing and replied "There's no such thing as a Chuck Norris joke, only facts..."

"I was walking down the street with my girlfriend, Chuck Norris bumped into her knocking her down. Needless to say I was pissed, so I slapped her and told her to apologize."

"I used to get robbed 15 times a month so I got a sign that read "Beware of dog"... then I only got robbed only 10 times a month, so I got a sign saying "Beware of Chuck" and not only don't I get robbed, but people started bringing my stuff back."

"Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone"

"Some ninjas can grab flies with chopsticks. Chuck Norris can grab a flies balls while wearing boxing gloves."

"If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read, he always judges a book by its cover successfully."

"Chuck Norris can eat a hot dog backwards."

"Scientific proof: A cockroach can survive a nuclear bomb but can be killed by someone standing on it, therefore foot > nuclear bomb, so Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is the most dangerous weapon on the planet!"