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**robertisaar** · 09-24-2009, 09:26 PM

what a fun way to waste time....

i may be interested in this...

**pocket-rocket** · 09-24-2009, 09:54 PM

Another good one:

"Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: so when can i tap that?

Stranger: after Thanksgiving

You: sweet. youll be nice and plump.

Stranger: ohhh yeaaaaaaaa

You: ill give you some stuffing for desert.

You: dessert*

You: so um........you wanna, you know, maybe sometime ....ahem. go castrate some donkeys??
Stranger:......

You have disconnected"

**pocket-rocket** · 09-26-2009, 01:29 AM

"You: Hi!

You: Got milk?

Stranger: I don't like milk

You: Water?

Stranger: Yeah, water's fine

You: Alright, we're getting somewhere

You: Do you like it more when it's drank through a straw, or from a bottle?

Stranger: How about from a bottle with a straw

You: No, that'd be like dividing by zero. You'd cause Armageddon.

You: I think saying that just killed a kid in a third world country.

Stranger: Well that's not good. You couldn't just let me have my bottle-straw water, could you?

You: I'm telling you, it would interrupt the space time continuum. You wouldn't want to be "That guy" in the soon to be non-existent history books who wiped out man kind, now would you?

You: I can, however, get you a can of bottled water. You can drink those with a straw.

Stranger: A can of bottled water?

Stranger: Isn't that some type of oxymoron?

You: No, it's just a concoction from a very retarded japanese guy.

You: But it exists.

Stranger: And drinking from that with a straw won't kill off mankind?

You: No, it would probably add to your awesome-ness level. You might even be able to defeat Chuck Norris

Stranger: Surely not... I must find myself some of this canned bottled water!!

You: I'm getting jealous now... I just offered you the key to defeating the only other threat to mankind (other than straw sipped bottled water.

Stranger: You sure did

Stranger: And once I defeat Chuck Norris...

Stranger: Then I will hold the only key to defeat mankind!

You: So, how do you feel about that?

Stranger: How do I feel...

Stranger: Feelings...

Stranger: @_@

You: Hahaha, is that good enough to go to Disneyland?

Stranger: Disneyland!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

You: FTW! You won't even have to pay to get in, nor would you have to wait in lines. You're awesome-ness level will destroy all who stand in front of you.

Stranger: Wait so you're telling me that I can now defeat Chuck Norris, destroy the world, AND go to Disneyland??

You: You'll have a red carpet of poor deceased souls would stand the test of time to warn those in the future that you are THE supreme force to reckon with!

You: God is shaking in his cloud throne...

Stranger: Muahahhaahhaa

You: You know what... You may just get the chance to try sipping water out of a bottle when you're to that point!!!

Stranger: My throne will be made out of something better than clouds

You: I'm sure you'll want it made out of nothing less than cosmic Milky way belts and comet tails for armrests.

Stranger: But of course

You: Sewn together with stardust from the far reaches of the universe.

You: I bet you can't wait to get that enchanted bottle of water with that amazing McDonald's straw sitting in the top of it, can you???

Stranger: I prefer Burger King straws

You: Ronald McDonald ain't got nothing on the man such as yourself!

Stranger: Nope! Or the woman

You: That's right, when you drink something that catastrophically intense, you DAMN SURE NEED IT TO BE YOUR WAY!

You: Sorry, fingers didn't want to type the 'wo' part.

Stranger: I forgive you xD

You: Anyways, back to the story... THank you!

You: The "king" will be your slave. That's just one of many benefits...

Stranger: The burger king king?

You: Hell yeah, along with all the other 'kings' out there.

You: It's about damn time a Queen ruled supreme!

Stranger: I want the Wendy's redhead girl too then

You: She'll be whatever you like. But be warned, she may want you to spare the life of Chuck Norris because she thinks she has the hots for him...

Stranger: I

Stranger: I'm afraid I cannot do that

Stranger: I'll find her a replacement.

You: I see, my Queen, she will be replaced.

Stranger: Can you think of a suitable replacement?

Stranger: I mean, who can beat the fast food mascots?

You: Colonel Sanders has had many years of loyal service. He is hard of hearing and may kick the bucket soon, but he may be of use temporarily.

Stranger: Hmmm alright

Stranger: Anyone else?

You: I'm searching for poor souls that qualify, my Queen, they are limited to not having the qualities to serve under a majesty such as yourself.

Stranger: This displeases me.

You: Would I be of use as a right hand man?

Stranger: I suppose you would be fit for the job

Stranger: Seeing as you did give me the key to my power

You: I have longed to see the demise of Chuck Norris for many many eons...

You: Though mastered at my skills, I cannot rise to power myself to kill him.

Stranger: Do you think Mr. Norris has any suspicions yet?

You: I must begin my long and perilous journey to the island of Japan to find the one insignificant and unintelligent fool who created the so called "can of bottled water".

You: I think Mr. Norris has not a clue what he is about to find in you.

You: I do know that for a fact, there are not enough adult diapers on earth to keep him from smelling good once he does find out that there is a being out there that can defeat him.

Stranger: Do we use force or kindness on the Japanese fool to obtain the canned bottled water?

You: Heavens no, the japanese fool will succumb to simply offering him a used kleenex and three pages of an american Playboy magazine.

Stranger: Oh of course, how ignorant of me

You: Being as elderly as he is, he will no longer be a fool afterwards because his heart will give out before finishing looking at the first page of the 'mostly missing' magazine.

Stranger: But what if there is not enough of this canned bottled water? How much do we require?

You: As for Mr. Norris, we will know when he becomes aware of your growing resistance to him, My Queen. The earth will rumble from the shaking in his knees.

You: One sip of the can of bottled water will be sufficient, my Queen.

You: The can has chosen you to be the one to drink from it.

Stranger: Perfection. How will Mr. Norris attempt to prepare?

You: Mr. Norris will attempt to escape as his first move. This will cause an interruption in the flow of the Solar System, but once he's gone he will still be easy to find.

You: His tears of anguish will leave a permanent trail so that he may run, but never hide.

You: Once he knows you're on his tail, he will start thinking of countermeasures to take you down.

Stranger: Will he recruit others?

You: You see, Mr. Norris is the only person to have ever attempted to drink from the can of bottled water.

You: Chuck has made the grave mistake of killing all others who came to him in peace. His arrogant ways are his weakness.

Stranger: What he didn't realize is that the can chooses the drinker?

You: Once he came upon the can of bottled water guarded deep in the depths of the japanese coastline, he pushed aside Godzilla (who is the guardian of the can of bottled water whom the japanese fool hired to do so)

You: He then held up the can high in the air, tried to open it, but broke a nail in his feeble attempt.

You: This caused him immense pain and suffering, but he knew that he somehow was not worthy to drink of the can of bottled water.

You: He knew of the burger king straw, but even then he was insufficiently armed. He picked up a coffee stirring straw at a cheap japanese coffee store right before going into the ocean.

You: Water and coffee don't mix... Simple fact that Mr. Norris took for granted.

Stranger: However, anything from Burger King can mix with water really

You: Godzilla was no more after the shattering of Chucks fingernail.

You: The can returned to its creator in suburbia of Tokyo, where it sits on the japanese fool's nightstand.

You: Burger king mixes with Gold, Silver, estrogen, fire, earth, wind, and water very VERY well.

Stranger: What will be the king's role in this plot?

You: Ronald Mcdonald quickly learned that he was only going to be as good as a mime... Hence his mask of despair (fake smile included)

You: The king has lived on for several decades. Quietly anticipating the rise of the one who would rid the world of the Walker, Texas ranger.

You: Wikipedia fact that The King keeps crates of straws at every location they serve drinks because he was unsure of where the "Chosen One" would reside until the day of reckoning.

Stranger: I see The King has thought ahead

You: An important ingredient in each straw is that it has a hint of polycarbonate uranium oxide in the shell.

You: It is a legend that the can of bottled water will not be water to anyone who is not chosen by the can.

Stranger: What will it appear as?

You: Stale root beer, with a strong acidic smell of melted arsenic leaves to the unimportant passerby.

Stranger: Oh of course

You: To this date, the can has broken not only fingernails, but ligaments, bones, I.Q's, and even as much as meth addictions.

You: Simply looking upon the can with sinful intent causes internal nervous meltdown.

You: Only to those not in assistance to "The Chosen One"

Stranger: Has the japanese fool any idea what he created?

You: He has learned over time that there is something mysterious about this can, but is so damned stupid that it cannot be figured out by a negative I.Q.

I think she lost connection after this...."

**Firehawk94** · 09-28-2009, 10:35 AM

Wow, well that just wasted like 15 min. of my time.....lol It really amazes me what ppl do to waste time and the randomness of these conversations is hilarious!!

**pocket-rocket** · 09-28-2009, 11:28 AM

The guys on TRS are an odd bunch... Mostly the 4x4 guys.

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