THE BOTTOMLESS PIT
When you want a trap that's really, truly, madly, deeply escape proof, look no further than the Original Bottomless Pit from Scaramanga & No Mad Science Division.
Based on the principle of Quantum Tunneling, which assumes a 13-dimensonal universe with nine of the dimensions condensed into quantum superstrings -- fuck, we don't know how it works, nor do we care. All we know is, you can toss a meddling do-gooder down this pit and listen to the screams slowly fade away. Requires no maintenance, never fills up, and it's self-cleaning.* Requires professional installation; do not use near quantum singularities or propane storage tanks.
Price: US$42,512.99
*VillainSupply offers no warranty against valued objects, henchpersons, or villains that accidentally fall into the pit. They're gone. Get over it.
Damn, I need one of these.
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